Don’t panic. It’s probably not about the music.
Hearing “I don’t like band” or “I don’t want to be in orchestra anymore” can feel like a gut punch, especially when you’ve seen how much they’ve grown already. But here’s the good news: it’s a common bump, not the end of the road.
What’s Really Going On?
Most of the time, “I don’t like it” means something underneath:
- “I feel behind.”
- “It’s harder than I thought.”
- “I’m comparing myself to everyone else.”
It’s not the music that’s the problem, it’s how they feel in the moment.
This Is Where You Come In
Don’t try to talk them out of their feelings. Start by getting curious.
“What part do you like the least right now?”
“What’s something that’s been really hard lately?”
Their answers might surprise you and help you support them in a way that actually helps.
Normalize the Struggle
Let them know it’s okay not to love every minute. Even the most passionate musicians have off days (or off months).
Quitting in a hard moment is like closing a book halfway through. Sometimes the best parts are still ahead.
Try This:
Ask one simple question today:
“If you could change one thing about band/orchestra, what would it be?”
Then just listen. That one conversation can unlock what they really need from you.
Lean into the conversation.
The next time your child says “I don’t like it,” try asking what feels hardest right now. We’ll be here with more ways to support, encourage, and keep their music journey moving forward.